Andrew Richards asks: “This is the second time a customer has given me a bag of weed as a tip! What are some of the weird things you’ve been given as a tip?


Well, Andrew, I’m not sure where you live, but we all want to work there. I need more drug dealer mansions to clean. We’ve all targeted the wrong neighborhoods. The strangest thing I’ve ever been given as a tip is a portrait of myself cleaning windows by the lake a customer gave me. I’ve been cleaning her house for years. She paints and mounts her canvases—what a wonderful older woman she is. When asked if I thought it was strange, I told her no, it’s the coolest tip I’ve ever gotten. Now, if I could get that bag of weed tips, my life would be complete! I hope that answers your question sincerely. Jealous of Ohio. I mean T Squeegee. 


Ralph Patterson asks: “What is your favorite laundry detergent to use to wash suck towels?”


Ralph detergent is a no-no in our house when it comes to window cleaning towels of any sort. Detergents will, in most cases, cause a huck towel or any other kind of rag to leave a film on the glass. In most cases, there’s already enough soap leftover on your towels from regular use to suffice during a normal wash cycle. But if you’d like to know what will keep me from yelling when you wash my towels is this secret formula. Hot water and half a cup to cup, depending on the load size of cleaning vinegar, are what I’ve been using for 17 years. The vinegar will help rid the towels of the smell associated with damp towels and strips most of the soap off the towel. I hope that helps. Happy wiping!

As always, thanks for reading the best magazine in the world, and don’t forget to send your questions to…[email protected] and I’ll answer them here, and you’ll be famous for being in a magazine!


Mubarik Hayat asks: “For those of you that do residential window cleaning, do you collect your money before or after the job?”


Well, Mubarik, what makes residential window cleaning so satisfying to me is collecting the check after a job well done. Typically one would want to make sure the customer is satisfied with the work you performed at their home. I feel it would be a bad form to ask otherwise. If I was having my windows cleaned by someone, it would throw up a red flag if they wanted to be paid before performing the task. In my experience, residential window cleaning is the most difficult because the homeowner is particularly more aware of the cleanliness of their glass. Homeowners look out for it constantly. Attention to detail is paramount, and to get that customer to call you year after year means making sure they are happy with the service you provide. Clean that glass and collect the check Mubarik!


Dwayne Robertson asks: “Why is it that customers always ask what’s in the bucket? I could pee in the bucket and clean the windows better than you, lady! But instead, I politely say just a little soap and a squeegee!”


Well, Dwayne, I must say I love restraint and not telling them you pee in your bucket. I think most customers that ask a lot of questions are one of two things. Very interested in the process because we, as professional bucket urinators, make cleaning windows look effortless. Most of us anyway, so they want to know what our “secrets” are or all of our “tricks” when it’s just years of practice that makes us masters of our craft. The number two reason in my experience is that they are lonely, don’t have decent conversations in their daily lives, and want to chat with a stranger they are paying to be in their home. I do many senior citizen communities, and the latter is the most prevalent reason for these questions that drive us nuts. But always remember a door opened through a meaningless conversation is a relationship built and a potential customer for life! I hope that helps Dwayne. If you can smell what the T Squeegee is cooking. As always, it’s awesome answering your questions in the best magazine ever printed. And if you have any questions about your relationships, astrophysics, or the best way to clean windows, feel free to send them to [email protected], and I’ll immortalize you here in print for all of eternity. See ya next month. 


– T-Squeegee