I was on a trip with my wife a few weeks ago to Asheville, and we found this little sticker on a tombstone with the words “Comparison Kills.” I bought it and stuck it on my Mac screen at my office to see it every day. It really hit home for me because I used to be obsessed with how successful my peers were in relation to me. I was constantly comparing myself to others. What they were achieving, material things they had. My ego just couldn’t handle that others were passing me by. I saw all these people on social media looking like they were killing it and like everything was just perfect inside their business. Surely they had none of the issues that I was dealing with. I wanted people to think I was killing it too. 

Once I started to get more involved in the industry, meeting different people who I had seen as the epitome of success, my perception changed.


They were not different from me.


They had most of the Same problems. It is easy to make your life look perfect on social media. I am guilty of this myself. I never post about all the daily struggles. The anxiety and fear. From the outside, it might look like I have this whole thing figured out. With the wave of new industry “experts” telling everyone how easy it is to build a fantastic business, if you just follow their program, it makes you think that this stuff just comes easy. You only see all the wins. Whether they are telling the truth is irrelevant, it seems. That’s not to say there are not great coaches. I have greatly benefited from business coaches, but all the ones that I know that are actually worth working with don’t have to tell you how great they are. Coincidence maybe? 

I used to feel like every industry Facebook group was an opportunity for me to look the part of a successful business owner. I was quick to spout off advice like I was in some position to be giving it. It made me feel good. I have pretty much always known what I NEEDED to do to be successful. It was easy for me to share my infinite wisdom with others as if I had actually done it myself already but teaching someone how it should be done and doing it yourself could not be farther apart.  I started to realize that I was doing the same cringy things that all these “gurus” were doing. I decided that instead of trying to look like I knew what I was talking about, maybe I should actually get to work. Stop worrying about looking the part and make something happen. 

Your ego can be hard to control. It was an issue for me. And the reason I was so concerned about the perception others had of me in the industry because deep down, I knew I was not putting in the work necessary to accomplish my goals. At least I could take the easy route and make it look like I was doing great.


The truth is making yourself look good online doesn’t pay the bills. It is just a distraction that is taking you off your course. It is a lie you tell yourself.


I realized that I needed to be putting in the work to achieve the status that I tried to pretend I had. I didn’t need to be concerned with what others were accomplishing or if people thought I was successful or not. All of that nonsense was just something I was using to keep myself from doing the actual hard work in front of me. 

Humbling myself has been one of the most life-changing things I have ever done. I don’t need others’ admiration now. I think it’s pretty silly to care at all how I am viewed. I am embarrassed by the person I was, constantly trying to stroke my ego. All that energy wasted now goes to getting up every day and becoming better in every way I can. If you are honest with yourself, are you doing everything you can to get better, or are you just trying to make it look that way? Because looking good online is not going to get you there. Trust me, I tried it. Only when I started to focus on the actual work did I begin to see any success. You might surprise yourself with how quickly you begin to raise your level in life if you just put your head down, close your mouth, and get to work.   


~Brian Sauls